During this time of inner reflection with the Lord, He has grabbed hold of my heart in a grip that I can't, neither do I desire to shake loose from.
My heart's desire has always been to please Him, to do His will, fulfill my destiny in Him. But you know, it became so easy, too easy to say that. Perhaps some may disagree with me, but I feel as if I am just coming to realize the sheer magnitude of what fulfilling my destiny in Him will require, what it REALLY means. It is so much MORE than I ever imagined, desired, or expected. It means my flesh, my own will, my own desire must be sacrificed. And like everyone else who professes Jesus as their Lord, I have said that a million times. But in the last few weeks I have had to ask myself, "Was that just lip service?" Because the fulfillment of our destiny in Him requires much, it won't be easy and it requires hearing and obeying.
Even Jesus was tore up about what the fulfillment of His destiny would require of Him. I was reading about Jesus and when He was facing death, literally. Here is an excerpt from Mark chapter 14 (The Message translation):
32-34They came to an area called Gethsemane. Jesus told his disciples, "Sit here while I pray." He took Peter, James, and John with him. He plunged into a sinkhole of dreadful agony. He told them, "I feel bad enough right now to die. Stay here and keep vigil with me."
35-36Going a little ahead, he fell to the ground and prayed for a way out: "Papa, Father, you can—can't you?—get me out of this. Take this cup away from me. But please, not what I want—what do you want?"
I asked myself, "Can the ONLY way His plan for my life be done be if I lay my own life down, my own agenda, my own desires?" If not, then Tara is still calling the shots. "Can I do this on my own?" If so, Tara is still holding the reins. "Am I laying it all on the line for Him?" If not, I am only in the way of His will.
Throughout these last few months, God has been whispering in my ear. I mean, really taking to me, louder than I have ever heard Him. This time of processing has required me to "zip my lip" thus preventing "lip service." And now I am answering Him loud and clear, not with lip service, but with a heart that beats to the tune of His.
Join the Journey,
1 comment:
I'm so excited for you T - because I know all of heaven's getting ready to bust loose for you! I love you!
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