Friday, August 24, 2007

Divorce in the Pulpit: What Went Wrong?

My heart was saddened as I learned of yet another couple in ministry deciding to divorce. At first I was going to link the story here, but I opted not to. This couple has enough media attention right now. I have admired this couple and have received from them in a ministry capacity on more than one occasion. They were a powerteam... WERE.... what went wrong?

To top it off I then learned of another former "power couple," this time in the throes of a stormy separation and assault charges. What went wrong?

There will probably be numerous comments from every viewpoint and that's okay. As Americans we are all entitled, however as Christians we are also commanded to love one another. I love these brothers and sisters in the faith and I know God does too. He has not abandoned them and though He hates divorce I believe He will grant them all peace that passes all understanding.

Still, I am left with the probing question of, "what went wrong?"

If I ask some people I will get the whole rundown of "mega preachers and how they have gone wrong" and then I'll ask others and they'll have accusations of infidelity and opinions on women in the pulpit. However, when it all comes down to it, they are human and they make mistakes no matter how anointed they are. And having the pressure and success they have doesn't necessarily make it better or easier, sometimes it makes things surreal.

In my own marriage, Craig and I have gone through our share of issues. We don't always agree and we shouldn't. We are two individuals with different ideas, feelings, and identities. I can't live my life through or for him and he can't live his through or for me. We are in one in Christ and we have vowed to love and honor one another till death do us part. Divorce, for us, will never be an option. And I don't say that lightly, as a matter of fact as I typed that sentence I felt a slight fear run through me. I'm sure those power couples promised the same things. And I won't judge them because, "but for the grace of God, there go I."

I still haven't answered the question, "What went wrong," because frankly, I don't know. These couples were in love, best friends and they dreamed together. They also cried, felt brokenness, felt lonely, and experienced loss together- and alone. They also experienced success together and alone. And I am 100% positive that given another chance they would do many things differently. Wouldn't we all?

I've written a lot about"power couples" in this post. And ya know, I know some dynamic power couples who are still married and I am rooting for them. Personally, I consider Craig and I a "power couple" because we balance each other out with our anointing, strengths, weaknesses, desires, and taste. I am my best when working, walking and ministering beside Craig. Even when we have to be apart we are still flowing in the "same vein." And we love each other.

In closing, please join me in praying for these men and women of God for restoration in their lives and relationships. If God still called David a man after His own heart even when he messed up in his relationships I know there is hope for us all in our own times of weakness.


Deanna Shrodes said...

I know, I know, I know. I am just sickened by hearing about two at once. What a blow to the body of Christ. I understand how you feel. We all must pray.

Larry feels the issue many times is that these "power couples" turn from pastors into "Christian Celebrities"...there's a big difference. As noted in the articles that are coming out...after a certain amount of success, they changed. (but in a way that was not good.)

My heart is with you on this.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for this post...many wouldn't "go there..." So often we place people (Including Christian Power Couples or Christian Celebrities) on a pedestal...I must admit...that because of past examples (especially in the pentecostal world) I grow extremely cautious...The Bible warns us that Man will let us down, but God NEVER will :0)
The bottom line is: We are ALL People...WE ALL make mistakes and WE are all covered by HIS grace!!!!